The Next Big Thing: Bloxers

The world of technology is a beautiful place. New things are being invented and improved upon everyday! Apps receive updates, cars become faster and more efficient, planes are simply more awesome-looking, and voices can control nearly anything these days. So what was it that had social media buzzing this week?


Oh. Okay…

Fashion designers in Washington D.C. put their brilliant heads together to come up with “Bloxers”, a pair of boxers that prevent every high school boy’s nightmare: an embarrassing and unexpected erection. They use a “deflector shield” to keep men’s third wheel from spiraling out of their control. Better yet, this “deflector shield” comes in two types: right or left. Don’t ask, you know why.

If you can get behind a revolutionary design like Bloxers, you can support the team’s Indiegogo campaign. Their goal is a whopping twenty grand, but as of this writing, they sit at just under two thousand dollars. You can feel good about where your money is going, too. Their video on states that 25% of Bloxers’ profits will go to prostate cancer research. Your heart and your little guy tell you that Bloxers is a “safe” investment.

All this undies talk got me thinking…what other ways could the skivvies be revolutionized? Let’s start out with the obvious- the hole in the front. No one uses it, and if you do, you have to fight to get everything through that hole and the pants. I suggest a button or perhaps a Velcro square to come apart at the top of the boxers. The waistband would separate, creating a wider access to what was the awkward hole and lessening the damage from the struggle.

Another pressing issue of boxers is the wedgie that often terrorizes the user throughout the workday. While some boxers are labeled “Won’t ride up,” I’ve been lied to more than once. Why not cut a slit at the bottom of each leg hole? While I’ve never tried doing so myself, it could be the solution we’ve all been waiting on for so long.

So what do you think about the Bloxers? Are they your next purchase? What about underwear tears you up inside? Do you have your own genius invention that everyone says is too stupid to work? Let me know in the comments below.


Image from Huffington Post

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